Honeymoon Blog

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Mr. & Mrs. Rios

We did it! I'm officially Mrs. Richard Rios! We couldn't have asked for a better day!

Kobi's Headstone

I miss this Family

The "Heeling" Begins

After our counseling session, the facilitator invited us to check out some of her books. I borrowed one specifically on grieving after your dog dies. I didn’t read the whole book but skipped to the relevant chapters that I specifically needed.

GUILT: The recurring feeling that I keep trying to shake but still manages to creep back. After reading other people’s accounts of guilt, again it began to dissipate. There are people that accidentally ran over their pet or people that called their pet from across the street and they got hit by a car while crossing. Again, my pangs of guilt seemed minute compared to these other scenarios, and again I felt my healing process to continue.

There was one chapter that caught my attention. We broached the subject during the session but I still wanted to explore more about it.

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GET ANOTHER DOG: There is no question about it. Rich and I wanted another dog but the question was when.

The most painful place to be, after all this, is home. Everything at home reminds us of Kobs and the hardest part is changing the daily routine that we’ve known for years. I have the luxury of escaping for 12 hours of the day, while I head off to work. Rich, on the other hand, is a prisoner in our home as he stays here job searching.

So you can imagine that we have a different answer when asked, are you ready for another dog? Me? Not quite yet. Rich? Yes, for the sake of his healing. Do I make a selfish decision and refuse to let him get one? Absolutely not. He has been my rock through this whole ordeal and he has done everything that he can to get my life back on track. Why would I deprive him of the same?

With that being said, I also made it clear that he cannot expect me to devote 100% of my love and attention to a new doggy. I will need my space.

After a few days of searching the internet, we found a Labrador mix in the Martinez shelter. When we called, he was still on “stray” watch. This meant his original owners had a few more days left to claim him. Secretly, I was relieved. After few more days, I called again and they said he was now adoptable. His case would be reviewed again on 4/7, which meant he could be put to sleep. That made me sad.

So, Rich went down to take a look. When he called to tell me about him, I already saw the healing begin. His voice had a different tone….an excitement that I haven’t heard in over a month. He was hooked. And so, “Jean-Pierre”, the dumb-ass name that the shelter gave him, would be a guest in Kobi’s house, at least for 30 days.

After coming home from work, I read the adoption papers and the agitation started. My attitude just switched gears and poor Rich became my punching bag. The next morning….I cried and cried. Again GUILT crept back. I didn’t want Kobi to feel like mommy and daddy didn’t love him anymore. But as Richard, his mom, and step-dad have been telling me, it’s ok to love more than one dog. You love many people in your life and if one dies, you don’t stop loving. They assured me that it was ok and that I have a big enough heart to love some more. And that NOTHING can replace my love for Kobi.

The shelter wouldn’t release him until he got neutered. This put us in a bind. He had to get neutered the day of OJ mom’s party and we were committed. So, we hired a pet sitter to pick him up from the vet and take care of him while we performed. “Jean-Pierre” was no more…..that night was the birth of Yogi.

One Month

I can't believe that it's been a month since Kobi left. Time flies even when you're not having fun.

Happy Birthday Cassidy Renee Frianeza

My niece Kea delivered today. From what I hear, it was an easy delivery. With all the difficulty she's endured this past year, I'm glad something came easy for her. I can't wait to meet the cutie! Congrats Key-Face!