Viva Las Vegas

Rich and I just got back from Vegas for my niece's wedding. In this short weekend, I packed a lifetime of drama in. So, relax, kick up your heels and get ready to laugh at, feel sorry for, or be embarrassed for me.

VIDEO TAPING THE CEREMONY
We wanted to capture the moment on tape, so we made sure we had our video camera. We even borrowed a tripod from Peter, Rich's brother and packed it in the suitcase. One problem...we forgot to buy a tape. We had all day Saturday, so we weren't worried about having enough time to buy it. But after brunch and wandering the strip (it was Rich's first time there), we completely forgot. We got down to the chapel around 5, the ceremony starting at 530, so Rich decided to go to the Gift shop to track down a tape. As soon as they let us in to the chapel, I set up the tripod. Then the announcement came...photos and video are not allowed to be taken by the guests. Great! Rich was still not back. I used my cousin's cell phone (I left mine upstairs) to call him to ix-nay on the video hunt. He didn't make it to the chapel until after my brother & sister-in-law walked her down the aisle.

It turns out, he went on a wild goose chase. They didn't have any videotapes in the hotel and they sent him to Walgreens. What they didn't tell him was it was halfway down the strip. Poor guy! He was doing an OJ through the strip in a black suit in over 80 degree weather! He even fell while he was running! All for nothing!

THE FORMAL PICTURES
After the ceremony, the chapel wedding coordinators started guiding the guests to the reception room...a good 10 minute walk from the chapel. They said all siblings, parents, and grand-parents were the only ones allowed to take the formal portraits with the bride and groom. I stood in disbelief and hoped that an exception would be made for me. I stood by the doorway, hoping someone would see me and say, come on in Mur.

The person that saw me was my mother. So, she says to coordinator, that's my daughter, the bride's aunt, she should be in here. But no, the coordinator was adamant that no exceptions can be made and I wasn't allowed. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Here I was, someone that helped raise her and was by her side as she grew up....only to be turned away by some damn wedding chapel coordinator. My mom was in shock as well. I walked away trying to hold back the stinging of the tears, as my cousins joined in the bitching and the griping about how I should be there with them.

After a half hour, they finally joined us at the reception hall very apologetic. They also said that the photographer felt bad that I got banned and my nephew tried calling me on my cell to come back and take pictures. If you recall from the Videotape posting above, I didn't have my cell phone on me. So, I'm no where to be found in the formal family pictures of my only niece's wedding.

THE SPEECH
Halfway through the reception, the DJ pulls out the mic and asks for people to come up and say a few things to the newly married couple. I hate public speaking with a passion! But Rich kept on shooting me looks to go up there and speak and my father kept on nudging me as well. So, after my brother and sis-in-law did their thang, I nervously grabbed for the mic.

Right off the bat, I said I was going to be emotional. I gave up on wiping the tears away since they just kept on pouring. I talked about how she was born when I was only 14 and how I used to use her and my nephew as my dolls, then moved onto the awkard teenage years with big teeth, then how she grew up to be such a beautiful young woman. The whole time, tears were streaming down my face and I saw others dabbing at their eyes as well. Then I talked about how I'm looking forward to watching her become a mother to her baby girl.

At that moment, with 60 faces staring straight at me, a collective gasp overtook the room. And then I hear..."It's a girl?!" Shit! I thought everyone knew.

At that point, I could feel the blood rushing to my face and I just felt like crap. Then my smart-ass cousin says in a not-so-quiet voice, "Wanna get away?" just like the Southwest commercial. I look at Kea and she is completely shocked, then I look at Nicco and he's covering his face with his napkin! Oh my god...what did I do? You think that was bad? That's nothing!

At that point, I try to play it off and say "ooops! And I didn't even drink tonight!" Then sheepishly say, "Nicco, welcome to our family." and walk over to their table. I bend down profusely apologizing, then Kea lays it on me. "Nicco didn't want to know the sex." WTF????? Are you telling me I just told Nicco what he was having?!? Why didn't anyone tell me he didn't know!!??!! Everyone else I talked to knew they were having a girl! If ever I felt like crap, that topped the cake!

Another person came after me to talk but I don't think anyone was listening. I just felt the whole room staring at us as I sat there crying and apologizing. They forgave me and told me not to worry about it....but I sat at the table crying for a good half hour after the ordeal. Rich even bought me a drink.

Let's just say that was the best damn margarita I had in my life. I felt like such an F**'in A**hole! In the end, it ended up being fine. In fact, my brother wants to send the video tape into "America's Funniest Home Videos." Ahhh...the price of humiliation!

SECURITY
My family drove up and we decided to have brunch before they all left. My brother paid for our room, which I shared with my parents, who by the way, are party animals. Rich and I always got back to the room before they did.

And as usual, my mom wakes up at 9 am. The safe couldn't open so she decided to call the front desk to have them open it. Could she wait until 11, when we're getting up to check out?? Oh no...she had to do it right then and there. So, they come up with their walkie-talkies going on. As I'm trying to sleep, we hear that a 75 year old woman slipped in the bathtub and was still uncounscious! Poor thing!! I hope she ended up being ok.

CHECKING OUT
We couldn't go back to sleep after that. So, we started packing our stuff. They called a bell hop to pick up all the luggage and store it until after brunch. Rich and I weren't quite ready so we told them we would meet them down there. In the meantime, my sis checked us out of the room.

Before we went down, I had to use the restroom one last time while Rich watched a little football. Since it was just the 2 of us, I just used the restroom with the door open. All of a sudden, the front door opens and housekeeping peeps her head into the bathroom. And there I am, sitting on the toilet, with my mouth open and eyes open wide. She looks as horrified as I did, apologizes, and slips out of the room. DAMN! I can't even pee without some drama finding me!

MY MOTHER
Before brunch, my brother found me at a Black Jack table and we played until we had to meet up with everyone at the front of the buffet. We spot Mom and stand behind her just chatting away. I thought it was kind of weird that she didn't turn around to say hi to us. So, I start playing with her ear lobe to get her attention. She turns around to look at me and I jump back. It wasn't my mother!!!!! Here I was playing with a stranger's diamond earring, flicking her ear lobe back and forth. She looked so scared!

My brother was just as shocked as I was! Oh my gosh....I just kept on apologizing but couldn't get over the resemblance. In fact, my mom was on the exact opposite side of her machine. I had to bring my mom to her, just to show her how much they looked alike. My dad even had to get up and take a look. Oh man....this whole weekend was just full of embarrassing crap!

LEAVING LAS VEGAS
We had to leave for the airport at 530 for our 7pm flight. We ended up losing track of time and when I looked at my watch, it was 515 and we were at Treasure Island. After cashing out, we ran through the strip to Harrah's, caught the monorail, ran through MGM, got our bags from the bell desk, grabbed a taxi, checked in, took a tram to Gate D, and grabbed food....just in time to board the plane. That was non-stop adrenaline. That one was defnitely our fault!

THE GOOD THINGS
So, let me end this by saying, there were some good times.

• I had an awesome time hanging out with my family and cousins
  
  
  
  
• I ended up ahead overall
• I had fun showing Rich around
• The wedding was beautiful
• And I made it home alive!